djeran nostalgia 

Collaborative poem written by Tyler Deakin-Thomas, Kathryn Gledhill-Tucker, Kula-Lee McKeon, Luisa Mitchell and Casey Mulder 

I 

I find myself once again in shallow, murky waters 
marsh weed and chittering insects 
my feet push against soft mud of riverbank 
and I tip my head back to stare at the halo embracing the moon 
 

I heard stories about a haloed moon—it meant something 
—soon rain or past rain or near rain or near drought 
answers hide in deep marsh, murky water 
if only I knew how to read rivers or speak weather 
 

I would hum a poem of soft morning dew 
script of feathered rushes, chorus of flowing change 
unceasing, unending seasons would sing back memories 
of dragonflies’ beating wings, and I would remember 
 

—I do remember, though I fear I am forgotten, 
I never truly am, for this place is my fabric 
I am woven together by this moon 
by the flow of this water—I am 

II 

dust-covered menus that line the kitchen drawers 
cracked paper shards that splinter when—held 
prawn crackers, spring rolls, “call this number” 
the dial tone rings out forever 
 

blue and red fairy lights blind dazzle 
steeped in moon-glow our hands—grasp 
at false promises, sweet nothings 
and at the corner shop, my free will drifts out the window 
 

stolen sweaters once drenched in perfume lie hidden 
beneath pillows, beneath—dreams 
inside the grave of us 
dusty and derelict 
 

that one photo, the shrine in the hallway 
falls in the dead of night and—shatters 
the view from your windows 
the heavy clouds rolling in 
 

over the ocean 
a storm I dare to—remember 
this brick house will never 
contain me again and I 

III 

step out into auburn maple shade 
to find our legacy was  
tidy, reticulated lawns, golden sedans 
and tattooed men who drink too much 
 

blackened kettles 
neon lights 
getting caught 
silent dinners 
 

raised voices 
behind closed doors 
smiles you can’t 
believe anymore 
 

she sits and 
waits for the day 
he will understand 
her tears 
 

silence is rewarded 
silence for tears, broken promises 
lost ambitions, upturned smiles 
and empty lunchboxes 

IV

heavy with a ghost who crawls in spaces 
where air permeates but never reaches  
me and I cannot be reached 
not here, anyway 
 

I float high above the rocky ground 
hoping my feet bleed red against the earth 
there is no feeling of safety here 
only a disconnect to another world 
 

bones where my body would be 
form a brittle shield, sucking in air 
the once-skin taste echoes 
the yet-born feels falling 
 

I can see, but not be felt 
observe, and never be seen 
I am the grey concrete statue resting 
on the mantelpiece decaying photo in a frame 
 

my beating heart floats in space 
looking back at your closed gaze 
sickly sweet jasmine fills the space 
enveloped in a white haze 

V 

from stars in the deep blue 
come lilac clouds 
bubble-gum shoes 
 

sun shining lemon yellow 
reflecting purple waves 
glittering rain 
 

leaves flow in djeran winds 
singing old dances 
braiding spirits 
 

soft memories spin thread 
weaving amber, sapphire, rose 
entwined in breath 
 

breathe in, breathe out—our wisteria heaven  
the moist earth humming below  
oh, to feel it—her sweet turning grace